Travelling to Center City Philadelphia each day for work is becoming quite wearisome. As you can well imagine, public transportation, the trains, train stations and that environment in general have within it a certain atmosphere that leaves much to be desired. The constant begging for money, rampant and open drug use, syringes laying on the ground, homelessness, obvious mental health issues and other things much too disgusting to mention here are all pretty much the daily fare. Fortunately, my military and law enforcement background has trained me to be in a constant state of situational awareness and I try and have eyes in the back of my very bald head, at just about every moment. I trust absolutely no one walking the streets and I am always on alert. Things can happen in a millisecond and I almost always “have a plan.” I know this is a difficult way to live each day, but it is just the reality of working in an exceptionally large American city. I chose this and have resigned myself to it…but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. I’ve just adapted.

Each day I often wonder how much longer I can do this. It’s been almost 7 years working in the most historic part of our country (I work about a block from Independence Hall and also did a 3-year stint at Pennsylvania Hospital back in the mid 2000’s) and I still find that I pretty much dislike the city. While the restaurants and nightlife can be quite nice at times, I don’t particularly prefer it. In my head, I’m playing with a 2-year plan for retirement and may attempt to go part time, but that remains to be seen. Don’t get me wrong, I do very much enjoy my job, but it wouldn’t take much for me to head to the door if I was disrespected or ill-treated by someone in a higher place of authority, (actually, this was exactly why I left Pennsylvania Hospital, but that for another time).

Last week, while walking to the train station, I came across what looked to be about a 50 to 60-year-old man passed out on the sidewalk. The temperature outside was about 30 degrees. Three or four other people had also stopped and I asked if anyone had called 911. One young lady was just getting on her phone and I stooped down to check his carotid pulse. It was extremely weak, and he was cold, sweaty, clammy, and barely breathing. His face color was gray. I did an extremely hard sternum rub on his chest to see if he would stir or awaken, but he did not. I feared for the worse. I rattled off his issues to the young woman who was relaying them to the ambulance dispatcher and a few moments later we could hear the sirens approaching. The two paramedics jumped in to do their job and two large doses of Narcan did absolutely nothing. One paramedic checked the man’s wrist and there were hospital bracelets on him. Then he said to his partner, “Hey, I know this guy, it’s Mike.” We got him onto the stretcher and off they went. All I could do was walk away and say a prayer for the guy.

Now, with all that said, you might think “you’re crazy for doing this every day.” And, you might be right. However, I’m where I’m at for a reason. As I said, I chose this and at the present time, I’m not being led to retire or head to the door anytime soon. I firmly believe we’re placed in certain situations, places and circumstances for specific reasons we may not yet know. And, what I have learned during my time in the city is that while the aforementioned descriptors of what I deal with each day seem terrible and repulsive, I believe this is my place…for “such a time as this.” So, what does all this mean? I believe it means that God has not relieved me of my responsibilities here just yet. It means that, for whatever reason, He has me here for a purpose. His purpose. And, I am sure when he relieves me of this responsibility, he’ll hopefully make it clear to me.

I do know one thing however…in my time working in the city, I never, ever look upon others with disdain or with contempt. Quite the opposite, as I have grown to have an affinity for and a certain empathy for those less fortunate than I. We’re called to “pray ceaselessly” and I find myself doing just that on almost a daily basis. I’ve said it before, this has absolutely nothing to do with religion, just a simple spiritual connection.

So, here I am. I will stay as long as I’m supposed to and will hopefully know when it’s time to leave…we’ll see. I certainly do not know why you may be in the position, place or circumstance you’re presently in, and it may be much worse or much better than mine. Just know that sometimes, there is a reason.

I have accepted mine.

Maybe think about yours?